I am way, way too much like my father.

Right at this very moment, I am such a bundle of nerves that you would swear if you poked my upper back (where I happen to hold tension), that I am actually made of steel. Or better yet, that I have muscles.

Unfortunately, it really is just nerves. My dad is having some heart problems again, and he is going in tomorrow for a procedure called a TEE. From what I understand, they will send something down his esophagus to take a good look at the back of his heart.

Chances are there is nothing too terribly wrong, although he might end up having some heart surgery. But my dad has a unique capacity for always assuming the worst. He has managed to convince himself based off of a flippant comment from the doctor that lung cancer is causing the heart problems. He's never smoked, and he has no symptoms whatsoever of lung problems, but he is convinced.

My brother, the most non-dramatic person you could ever possible meet, is able to see the absurdity in this, make a joke that breaks the tension in the room, and go on with life with the attitude of 'I'll worry about it when there is actually something to worry about' (which is almost never).

I, unfortunately, am very much my father's daughter: we look alike, we like the same things, we can both get worked into a fury over five minutes of Fox News, and we have neurotic anxiety. I fight the encroaching thoughts of 'it must be something awful,' but I rarely, or never, win the battle. These thoughts work themselves into my psyche, set up camp, and don't leave until there is absolutely no shadow of a doubt that what I am fearing is false. In the mean time, I am left shaky, tense, and probably creating my own stress-induced health problems that I am quite certain will strongly resemble those of my father.

So anyways, please say a prayer for my father, his heart, his anxiety, and his neurotic daughter. We all need help this week.