Things I Learned in Texas

Sorry to go so long without posting. Gus and I have been in Menard spending a wonderfully relaxing Spring Break with my family.

Weeks with my family are almost always interesting. In fact, we are a group of rather zaney people. Throughout the week, we went through old boxes from my Grandma Pierce's house. Here are a few things I learned about my family while searching through these boxes:

1. My brother and I have been liberals from a very young age. We came across a list of laws we had made for our play country when we were in Kindergarten and 2nd grade. My brother has the complete list on his blog. It includes such things as gun control, welfare, and laws against any form of racial discrimination. I think another conclusion that can be drawn from this is that we were brainwashed early.

2. My dad's extended family was also a bit nuts. For example, Dad's great-uncle, Dude, has an interesting life story that I learned this week. He was married twice, both times to a mail-ordered bride. The first bride sent him a picture of her pretty young friend claiming it was a picture of herself. When he went to meet her, she was an old, unattractive woman, but he married her anyways because he felt sorry for her. Not surprisingly, they ended up divorced, but she remained a family friend even after he married his second mail-ordered bride. Not ironically, he died in a car wreck on his way to marry a third mail-ordered bride. He was one of my dad's favorite relatives.

3. The home I grew up in was obtained for our family through a marriage of convenience. An old doctor (about 99 years old) told my great-grandmother that he would give her his house if she would marry him and take care of him.

4. My great-grandmother would buy anything on credit. She once hid behind a piano in our house when a creditor came to collect some late payments. When her location was accidentally revealed, she claimed she was dusting behind the piano.

5. When my grandmother and Aunt Doe were younger, they always wore high heels and took pictures with dogs, so some of my own obsessions are starting to make more sense.

6. My grandmother was constantly cutting out random newspaper articles. Tucked in a stack of my old drawings from her house, we found an article about a new over-the-counter drug for yeast infections. This makes me feel better about always e-mailing people articles I think they should read.

7. Unrelated to my family or grandma's boxes, I also learned this week the BJ's best friend, Josh, has unresolved issues of animosity towards the wives of his friends due to the multiple times I have slaughtered him in boardgames. This was satisfying beyond words.

It was a really great week. I love learning things about my family because, as odd as it sounds, it helps me understand myself a little better. Gus also enjoyed the week, although he did have a few bodily difficulties. Primarily, he only "relieves" himself after Sienna, so on our way down to Menard he went over 24 hours without going number one or number two. I was a little worried about him. But of course, the best part of traveling with Gus is watching the workers in drive-thrus ooh-and-aah when I'm getting my food and being stopped about ten times by random strangers who are wanting to know what in the world that dog is. It was definitely a good trip.