The car that never dies, but comes awfully close

BJ has been driving the same car for a very long time, much longer than I have actually known him. This car has, to put it mildly, seen better days. Here is a quick list of everything that is broken/damaged/decayed on this little Acura Integra:

1- tree damage: smashed in side panel, broke plastic around side view mirror, cracked windshield, dented top of car (this happened when a tree fell on the car during the ice storm in January).
2- paint worn away to steal on top of car
3- no door handle on driver's side
4- can't put license plate on front of car because the bolts are rusted solid
5- car won't idle right and the throttle bounces up and down (this makes me feel really cool when he comes to pick me up at work)
6- heater doesn't work
7- AC doesn't work
8- rear-view mirror is held on by electrical tape
9- hole in driver seat and enough padding missing that the steal frame shows through
10- dash lights only work part of the time
11- automatic seat belt on the driver's side doesn't work so it is unplugged in the right place
12- rear windshield washer doesn't spray
13- rear windshield defroster doesn't work
14-sometimes the turn signal indicator light on the dash doesn't work. It still makes the clicky sound, though.
15- board over the spare tire in trunk has fallen apart, so everything you put in the trunk falls down by the spare tire
16- when you turn the car on during a rain storm, water rushes onto the passenger-side floor.

All of this, though inconvenient, has been bearable. Unfortunately, something else broke last night. When we got in the car to head home from church, the seat belt light start blinking red and a loud beep started going off. I have never seen/heard either of these things happen in my five years of riding around in this car. We both started to fiddle with our seat belts trying to make the really annoying beeping and flashing stop. Suddenly, awareness dawned on BJ. Due to problem number 11, the sensor that says the seat belt is locked has been bumped. Which means there is nothing he can do short of killing his car to stop it. The light and beeping are yet another quirk he is going to have to learn to live with. As BJ realized the constant irritation that is going to accompany every drive he takes in that car from now on, BJ started yelling "No" and hitting his head on the steering wheel in frustration. It was kind of sad. Except that I was laughing too hard to appreciate the sadness of it at the time.

For the record, I really love that old beat up car. I fell in love in that car. I told BJ I loved him for the first time in that car. We took our first long road trips in that car. It has a certain smell that immediately shoots me back five years to when I would get butterflies every time I got in the car of the boy I really, really liked. My heart will break (and no, I am not being over-dramatic when I say 'break') when we sell that car. I will weep sentimental tears of anguish and woe. It will be a monumental heartbreak. But until then, BJ has to drive around in a decaying car that beeps at him constantly. And that, well, that's just funny.