I haven't lost a pet since I was a kid, so I wasn't sure what to expect. So far, it's just hard. Life feels uncomfortable right now. When we go home, everything is off kilter.

Gus seems lost. He keeps doing that thing he does to let us know he needs out, but when we let him out he just sits on the patio and stares off into the distance. In fact, we've had to go outside and walk around with him the past few days just to get him to do his 'business'. He's restless because he has no one to play with. We would play with him, but we don't know how. He isn't the kind of dog you play fetch with. He's the kind of dog who wrestles with another dogs. He's never been without another dog.

Everywhere I go in our house, I am reminded of her. She's left her mark everywhere, and I can't bring myself to clean it up yet. Her kennel is still out with her pillow. Her hair is still everywhere (Labs shed more than just about any dog). She snuck a tennis ball into the house Saturday morning that I almost tripped over. And, of course, every picture I have hanging in our house of me and BJ has Sienna somewhere in it, usually intentionally but sometimes just because she wandered into it.

Tony is even lost. He did something he never does yesterday: he cuddled with Gus. He always cuddled with Sienna, but never with Gus. I guess he figured if he can't have his favorite dog, he'd settle for the big-black-panting-dumb one. I'm pretty sure that's what he calls Gus.

And BJ...well, BJ just misses his dog, and there isn't a thing we can do about that. I think we are all going to have a few weeks of feeling out of sorts ahead of us, because, despite her whining and horrendous gas and bad breath and all those other weird dog things, we all really loved her.