This Makes Me Giggle

Life Roles

Although my blog is full of happy pictures of Shepherd, it is probably not too shocking to hear that this year has been a little tough so far. It is hard to be content in one place when you know you will soon be leaving. We love the friends we have made here and dread the goodbyes that are looming over the horizon, which makes the time we do spend with them bittersweet. To complicate matters, the when/where/how are still unclear, so a sense of instability is hanging over our lives.

I'm finding my reaction to all of this to be an internal battle between the undeniable pain of the situation and a deep desire to appreciate the precious stage of life I currently occupy. Shepherd will only be a baby once. I will only get to raise him once. I know it is cheesy to say this, but he is a miracle to me. Perhaps it is the bright side to my perpetual worrying, but I am able to fully be in awe of his 10 fingers and 10 toes because I spent so much of my pregnancy worrying that I would eat the once thing that leads to 9-toed babies. His vivacity and joy and humor and relentless activity (while exhausting) are miraculous. In addition to only getting to raise Shepherd once, I'll also only experience my 20s once, and I'll only be a young housewife once, and I'll only start my first art business once, and you get the picture. These are all blessings I don't feel like missing out on.

But I am constantly aware of a severe sense of disappointment and failure over the past three years, and I'm not sure I'm up to the task of being a preacher's wife for the next 40 years. Don't get me wrong. I'm up to being BJ's wife. It's being a preacher's wife that can really suck some times.

So this is the conundrum I find myself in. At some point I'm going to have to reconcile myself to the one role in my life that I can't seem to relish. I love,love,love being a wife, mom, sister, daughter, and friend. And while the feminist in me says that no woman should be defined by the job her spouse holds, the pragmatist in me says, "Oh, yes they are" (at least when said spouse is a politician or preacher).

In the mean time, when I start getting all fidget-y and depressed, I just go to my happy place, which just so happens to be the picture I posted last week of Shep smiling. Seriously, who can possibly be worried or sad when looking at this face?

One More Face of Shepherd

Pure Joy

The Many Faces of Shepherd

Shocked

Focused

Inquisitive

Concerned

Indignant

Confused

Entirely Bored with His Mother

5 Months

Shepherd turned 5 months old yesterday. Shep spent part of his 5-month birthday chillin' with his dad.


Then he had a little issue he had to take care of. A little 'air' issue, shall we say.


But after taking care of that, he felt very relaxed and happy.


That pretty much sums up the life of a 5-month old.

so tired

I have been a busy lady here lately. For starters, I have a baby. And a husband. And a dog. They all have to be fed, and the former two create massive amounts of laundry. Also, our realtor has chosen our house to be featured in a First-Day-of-Spring Open House event. We are organizing a yard sale to help clear clutter out. Also, I'm trying to get my Etsy shop running smoothly. Of course, there is also the job of supporting BJ in his current job hunt. On top of all of that, I have to take care of the boring everyday stuff, like brushing my teeth.

BJ, Shepherd, and I just had my dad and brother visit us. It was a lovely week. I would love to post about it real soon. But right now, my only goal in life is to drag my tired self to bed and to do it quietly enough to not wake my son. It would also be nice if I can manage the energy to brush my teeth. We'll see how that goes.

Hello Old Friend

After whizzing and stripping down to my knickers this morning (I know, too much information), I officially reached my pre-pregnancy weight. After doing a celebratory hoppy dance, Shep and I laid on the floor together and celebrated.

And just in case you were wondering, this is a pretty normal way for me and Shepherd to spend a morning. I have the best job on earth.