How the Grinch Lost His Wife in an Outdoor Shopping Mall (and nearly his mind)

Before I begin this Christmas tale, here are a few things you need to know:

-Unless he is sitting in his desk chair buying computer parts, BJ hates all forms of shopping. 
-BJ hates moseying, meandering, or browsing in stores. 
-For BJ, Christmas shopping is simply a necessary evil.
-BJ does not know the difference between a Payless Shoes and a Nordstroms.  He is oblivious.

With that said, let me begin.  This evening, BJ and I had two errands to run: we needed to exchange a bad box of Christmas lights at Lowe's, and we needed to pick up a couple of presents at Stages, a clothing store in an outdoor shopping center near Lowe's.  We decided that BJ would drop me and Lydia off at Stages while he and Shepherd ran to Lowe's.  Unfortunately, we both forgot our cell phones, but we figured it would be easy enough for BJ and Shepherd to find us in Stages, a fairly small store.

So BJ dropped off me and Lydia in front of Stages.  We went into the store and started looking around.  Soon after arriving, Lydia started showing signs that she may not be up for shopping, but being the determined shopper I am, I started picking up items here and there.  Over an approximately 30 minute span of time, the little fusses started getting more violent.  It was getting harder for me to hold her and the couple of items I had, and I was starting to get looks, the looks that say, "Why are you subjecting civilized society to that child of yours."  All I could think was, "Where is BJ?!?"  Lowe's is literally right across the street, and he was doing a quick exchange.  And surely I couldn't be that hard to find in Stages considering it isn't a large store and I was carrying around my very own foghorn.  Eventually, I started apologizing to the people around me and explaining that I would have left already if only my ride had arrived.  Finally, I decided to check out the items I thought would work well enough (I could hardly think over the screaming) and stand outside.

Back up thirty minutes...
BJ and Shepherd dropped us off and headed straight to Lowe's where they quickly exchanged the lights.  They returned to the shopping center and went into the store to find us.  Soon after coming in, Shepherd, who BJ was holding, had a diaper leak causing his pants and, thus, BJ's arm to get soaked.  Between having urine on his arm and just generally hating being in any store whatsoever, BJ was very anxious to find me and Lydia as soon as possible, but he couldn't spot us anywhere.  After about twenty minutes of futile searching, BJ started asking store clerks if they had seen a woman with a baby.  No one had.  With his levels of anger, frustration, and anxiety about to shoot through the roof, he decided that he wasn't waiting for me in some stupid clothing store any longer, and he headed toward the Petco two stores down. 

Back to where we left off with me and Lydia...
So I checked out and walked out of Stages' doors.  As soon as I exited, I saw BJ walking down the sidewalk toward me.  It took about half a second of examination for me to see that steam was emitting from his ears.  When we got close enough to talk, BJ immediately dug in: "Where have you been?" I replied that I had been walking all over Stages with a crying baby and asked where he had been.  He angrily said, "I've been looking for you all over in there while carrying Shepherd who peed all over my arm."  This whole time he was pointing to a Ross Dress for Less.  "Why were you in Ross's?" I asked.  Suddenly, the anger drained out of BJ.  "What?"

After our tempers and frustrations cooled down and I had the time to say, yes, it would be horrible to be peed on while stuck in a store, and BJ had the time to say, yes, it would be horrible to have a screaming baby while stuck in a store, I asked BJ if he ever wondered if he was in fact in Stages, our agreed upon meeting place.  BJ replied, "Well, it was a clothing store."

So the moral of our Christmas story is this: While all Stages are clothing stores, not all clothing stores are Stages.  Ah haa.