I got to see Grandma today, and it was really difficult seeing her in this condition. Just a week ago I was sitting at a wedding reception talking to her. Today, she looked fatigued, breathing was a huge labor for her, and she constantly feels uncomfortable. The doctor reconfirmed with our family this morning that Grandma does not want life support or the paddles used, and he took her out of ICU. At first, we thought it was a good sign that she was out of ICU, but it seems that he mainly did it so that the family is no longer limited by visitation hours. In other words, we're just waiting for something we don't want to acknowledge we're waiting for. She told Mom yesterday that she has lived a good life, she has been happy, and she is okay with going. Knowing she feels that way helps with letting go, but it is never easy.
Seeing Grandma's eight children anxiously sitting in the waiting room and holding her hand when they go to her room despite her very contagious pneumonia has really made an impression on me. The very people she brought into the world and now helping her leave. It is beautiful.
I would like to ask for prayers for our family. More specifically, I ask for prayers for my mother. She talked to Grandma everyday 2 or 3 times a day for as long as I can remember, and they have never lived more that 22 miles apart. Mom has quite an adjustment to make whether or not Grandma miraculously pulls through. For Grandma, I just pray for peace.
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