When you're mad at God and hoping He won't take it personally

Last week was rough. BJ got called into work, told that a mystery shopper had giving him a bad review, and was fired on the spot.

BJ actually took it better than me. Whereas I reacted by isolating myself as much as possible and internally arguing with God throughout the day, he just seemed to accept it as the will of God. Quite frankly, it was a little irritating in my begrudged state.

To make matters better or worse, depending on the mood I happen to be in at that particular moment, BJ has spent the past two weeks being interviewed and waiting, and being interviewed and waiting some more for an admissions counselor position at ACU. Last we heard, we should be finding out something solid this week. I'd like to think I'm an optimistic person, but, well, I'm not (or at least I wasn't last week), so this whole ACU job thing has just been making me nervous and sick to the stomach daily because it takes people so long to get results on jobs.

I packed up all of my bitterness and lugged it along with me to church this morning. It was heavy, but dang-it, I was bringing it. And of course, John Willis, the cute, sweet, eighty-something year old, theologian mastermind of Highland Church of Christ, reads Psalm 105 and says that we remember to get us through the times when we can't see God working.

And so I'm now forced to remember a post I did August the sixth entitled "How we paid our electricity bill this month" in which I knew and believed God had taken care of us. I have to embark on this coming week, for better or worse, and I am finding that it is quite difficult to trade in my bitterness for hope, but it seems worth it.