Thoughts on marriage, honesty, and the blues

I hate going more than a week without doing a blog post, so I just sat down to do one since today makes a week. Unfortunately, I found when I set in front of this headache-inducing screen that my life has not been filled here lately with the funny or touching moments that compose the bulk of my blog posts. I don't want to sound like I'm complaining, but I think it is best to be honest when one has come upon a rough patch in life. It is nothing to be frightened of. I just have a temporary case of the blues. It is a mere fact of life that the road is full of little dips, or perhaps canyons that one must search for a bridge to cross. I would say I am seeking out safe passage.

Of course, as I have stated before on my blog, God does not give us more than we can handle, and we can often handle more than we had counted on. Yesterday, for the first time in months, I walked into the office and told BJ exactly what I wanted/needed. For him to not play games with the guys tonight. For him to spend time with me. No I don't know what we will do, but I don't want you playing with the guys. It was so simple, and yet it took more courage than I have felt I possessed in months. We spent a wonderful evening playing Yatzee and watching reruns on TV since reruns are all that we have with the current strike. Though a far cry from the romantic images of marriage we picture when we're single, it was a lovely evening due to the mere fact that it was a product of honesty. It is so difficult to be honest with those we love, but the reward of making ourselves vulnerable is a deeper, richer relationship. Thus, I learned a little lesson in life that perhaps would have eluded me if it hadn't been for a nasty case of the blues.

A Cozy Christmas Corner (i love alliteration)

BJ and I have decorated our house, and I must say, it is charming. We have a homemade advent calender from my Mom, homemade stockings I made last year, and homemade ornaments that I made after we moved to Frisco. I've always wanted a homemade Christmas, and this year really is all the way homemade. I'm giving homemade apple butter for presents to extended family and BJ's colleagues, and I've made all of our Christmas cards out of scraps of decorative paper I had in my art room. Here's a picture of our tree (it is not homemade) that we got the other day at Lowe's. (Notice: Gus is trying to drink the tree's water. This is what happens when you have an OCD dog who has an obsession with water.)

After decorating the tree, I decided that we should get some family photos. Tony was outside, so I settled for just us and the dogs. Somehow, though, the dogs were not in the mood for family photo time, which is extremely inconvenient when you're using a timed camera sitting on an ottoman. Here's our first attempt:

And our second attempt:

Can I just say my dog has gotten huge. I mean HUGE. We never got a good portrait, but oh well, this is probably more true to the general chaos of our household. I still thing Gus is awfully cute in these pictures.

A dozen things I have learned during a really tough week

~A candle-lit dinner and homemade Italian food create a warm spot in the coldest of places.

~Rubbing the superciliary arch of my husbands forehead helps him fall asleep after a long, stressful day.

~Whether they're in Abilene, Lubbock, Winters, Menard, or Illinois, my friends and family are always close by when I need them.

~The closest I can come to seeing the vastness of God's love is by examining my parents love for me.

~BJ has some very supportive colleagues. Despite the bad impression Frisco has often made, there are many fabulous people God has put in our lives.

~God doesn't give us more than we can handle, and I can handle more than I thought I could.

~My brother can always make me laugh.

~A wound inflicted by a fellow Christian always cuts the deepest. This power we have over each other should be respected and feared.

~I married a fiercely loyal man. His loyalty is an anchor for those he loves. It is an anchor for me.

~If the whole world thought I was scum, Gus would still think I was the best thing since packaged raw hides.

~The sound of the garage door opening after a long, lonely day at home is better, believe it or not, than Willie Nelson singing "Georgia on My Mind".

~If it weren't for bad days (or weeks, or months), we might never see the redemptive power of God with the clarity I have seen this week in my friends and family.

I have never written a blog post under such pressure as I am feeling right now. Yesterday, BJ was called to the office at school where he was informed that I would no longer be allowed to sub at LCA because my blog had offended some unknown someone. I have removed the "offensive" material out of a desire to protect my husband from any further difficulty at work, and I am sincerely sorry for offending anyone. But I would like to say to whomever was offended that the written word always has one weakness: the lack of tone, body language, and eye contact to convey messages. I use sarcasm and hyperbole to make my blog more enjoyable for my friends and family who frequent my blog, and I believe that they read my blog knowing full well that I am serious about half of the time.

I was really enjoying substitute teaching, and the money was not a luxury but a necessity for our family. I have never been fired, and I have certainly never been looked down on in the way that I have experienced in this town. The site monitor I have for my blog shows me that people in the Frisco area have been doing Google searches on both BJ and myself as if they are looking for something. It is the duty of all Christians to lovingly confront their brother or sister when they feel they have witnessed a transgression, but the covert nature of this attack on my character has been not only unproductive, but I would venture to say harmful. It is extremely difficult to not regress into a state of cynicism when one is treated in this way within a community of Christians.

Lastly, I would like to ask for prayers as I deal with both the hurt and the anger that has come out of this incident. May God's plan of redemption always triumph in the muddles we humans get ourselves into.

Thanksgiving is here!!!

BJ's mom and I just finished setting the table for tomorrow's Thanksgiving feast. Last week, I made napkin rings and place cards from odds and ends I found in the house, our yard, and the park. Here is the end product for my first Thanksgiving table scape as a hostess.

A day in the life...

I had to sub today, so the dogs were locked up for way too many hours in the garage. Needless to say, when we got home they had some energy to burn. BJ and I took them out to the back yard to spend some quality family time. After a little fetching and running around, this is how we ended up: BJ and Sienna running around rough housing like crazy, and me and Gus in the corner watching with Gus sitting on my feet while I baby talked and petted him. Typical.

Post Script to Previous Post

Yesterday I was making chocolate chip cookies for one of BJ's classes who have been doing exceptionally well here lately, and I took BJ all the utensils I had used in the process for him to "clean" (aka, lick). BJ looks up at me and, totally oblivious to my last blog posts, says, "That's why I married you- cookie dough." You've got to be kidding me.

Marriage Analysis

Every once in a while, I think it's good to sit back a take a look at one's marriage. Today offered a couple of rather intriguing exchanges between me and BJ that left me contemplating our relationship.

The first was this morning when we were getting ready for the day. BJ was putting on the outfit that I had placed second in line in his closet in the Tuesday slot. On Sunday I ironed five sets of clothes and put them in his closet in the order they should be worn. I was sitting at my vanity, and I said, "Isn't it great being married to me. You don't even have to think in the morning about what to wear." BJ's reply was, "You know that would annoy most women." Stating the complete and honest truth, I said, "I think it's fun. It's like dressing up a doll when I was little." As I said this, it became obvious to me that this is slightly twisted.

The second exchange was on our way home. I was discussing how I have almost finished up with his family's Christmas presents. BJ said, "If for no other reason, I'm glad I married you for Christmas." Basically, he hates shopping for presents, and I now do all the required thinking for him in this area.

So basically, it seems that I have allowed BJ to completely stop using certain parts of his brain. He never asked me to, I just do it. I'm not sure what this says about me, but for now, I think it says that I like picking out clothes and going Christmas shopping. However, it is possible that I am a control freak with a hyper-active maternal instinct who really needs kids to occupy my energy. I think I'll stick with the first theory.

Prayer Request

My oldest friend, Theresa, who was the Maid of Honor in my wedding and who I was the Matron of Honor for in her wedding in December, could use your prayers tonight. She is telling her husband of ten months goodbye as he leaves for Iraq at 11:00 p.m tonight. He is in the Army and will not be returning until December of 2008 at the earliest. They will not spend their first Christmas or anniversary together. Please prayer for them at this very difficult time and for their friends and family as we are trying to support them. And as always, let us all pray for a quick peace and healing for our country and Iraq.

WE GOT A CAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BJ and I drove home our new(to us) car last night. It is a 2006 Hyundai Elantra, and it is the most beautiful color of red. I've always wanted a red car, and BJ's always wanted a sun roof, so we somehow managed to get both of our requests. Here's a couple of pictures I took last night in the garage. The lighting isn't very good, but the sun hadn't come up enough this morning when BJ left to get any better pictures.


It was a really good feeling last night driving home with our pretty red car. I could see in this little used vehicle the healing work of God in our lives after a frustrating, painful two weeks. "All things work together for good to them that love God."

Pink Polka Dots a Little Boys

Since the wreck, I have been substitute teaching at BJ's school to help us with the financial problems that are inevitable after a wreck. Subbing has really been a blessing from God because BJ and I get to commute together, and I am able to make us the bit of extra money we so desperately need. So far I've subbed 3rd grade, 5th grade, and 7th grade. In my opinion, the older the better. The 7th grader all have BJ for Bible, so they were absolutely fabulous for me. Somehow, I just don't know what to do with small children. It seems so natural for elementary teachers to know when to discipline the kids and how to talk on their level. I just kind of tumble through the day from what I later am able to see was one mistake after another.

My biggest problem is that I don't always notice that what a kid is doing is something worth disciplining. For example, at the end of today, I was put in charge of watching the younger children as they waited for their parents to come and get them. One of the little boys was stamping himself from head to toe with a hot pink circular stamp. My thought process: "That looks pretty cool." In fact, this was not only a silent thought, but it was also my verbal response when he proudly showed me his body art. Not long after this, another teacher jumps all over the kid (who was technically my responsibility) for what I saw as a little harmless self-expression. It probably didn't help that he stamped his pristine white tennis shoes, but, what the heck, they look better now. Or at least more interesting. Perhaps I should invest in a lifetime supply of birth control so that I can save my would-be children from getting in trouble at school for things their mother encouraged at home, like Crayola murals or playing with you food until it is aesthetically pleasing and then eating it.

What a week

Monday while taking a quick excursion to Walmart, I got in a wreck that totaled my car and did a pretty good number on me. After two months of barely maintaining hope and sanity in a town that is so contrary to everything I believe in, this wreck was a blow to not only my body, but to my spirit as well. The isolation of life in an urban area is mind-boggling, and the effects of a wreck (even a wreck that, thank God, I walked away from mostly unscathed) is terrifying long after the vibrations of the blow fizzle out.

God, as always, is watching out for us. I applied for substitute teaching yesterday to help with the financial strain of the wreck, and I was called today to come in. Also, BJ's co-workers have been really supportive through our ordeal. The problem is just that I'm not entirely sure how to walk away from that wreck, and I don't have the slightest idea how to live in a place without friends, family, or our church in Nugent. Before we left Abilene, I did a blog on all the things about Abilene I would miss. I was right; I miss all of those things. I just hope that by the time we leave Frisco, there will be things about this place that I will miss. I am beginning to think that a sense of loss is the best way to gage the success of one's life in a given place. Frisco has a lot of work to do to catch up with Abilene

The lengths to which we will go to see The Office

BJ and I, like all newlyweds, are in a constant struggle to make ends meet. This has resulted in us not having cable for over two months. To compensate, we have rented DVD's of the NBC show The Office and watched them over and over and over again, and then we watched the deleted scenes and other special features over and over and over again - no, I am not exaggerating. The new season started a few weeks, so we have pretty much been going crazy not knowing what's up with Pam, Jim, Micheal, Dwight, etc. This lead me to Walmart tonight where I bought bunny ears. Unfortunately, NBC was the least clear of the major channels, so during commercial breaks, we had to get creative if we wanted a clearer picture. Here's what getting creative looked like...

...a bar stool, three pillows, bunny ears, and aluminum foil I literally had to dig out of the trash can because we had run out of it earlier today.

You may wonder what TV show could possibly push two people to this extreme, but it's more than just a TV show to us. It is the first TV show we have ever both liked. BJ and I don't have a ton in common, but we've got The Office. Also, tonight we had a moment in which I saw hope for us even beyond Dunder Mifflin. I had a coupon for a medium three-topping pizza from Mr. Jim's, so I asked BJ what toppings he wanted. He said: "I don't know about you, but I'd go for pepperoni, mushrooms, and black olives." Of all the thousands of toppings in the world, those were the exact three I was thinking of!!!!!!!!! I did do the right thing marrying him!!!!!! Yes!!!!!

He got bigger, but not smarter

Most people have a phobia of one sort or another. I, for example, am terrified of needles. When I have to get a shot or blood has to be taken, I about have a panic attack, and I am especially frightened when I get a splinter in my foot that requires a needle to pick it out. My dad has an irrational fear of matches. Apparently, as a child, his older brother through lit matches at him, and in the process, he created a phobia that still plagues my dad. To this day, Dad won't eat a birthday cake that has had lit candles on it.

So, in the tradition of his mother and grandfather, Gus also has managed to come by a rather bazaar phobia. I discovered his phobia on a few innocent walks in the park. A few weeks ago, we were walking in the park like always - me on the left and Gus on my right. A young mother came towards us from the right with a baby stroller, and Gus about knocked me over freaking out and running off my side of the sidewalk. I didn't give this much thought since it was his first time to see a baby stroller, but since then we have encountered many more baby strollers with the exact same panic attack following each. Today, Gus about chocked himself on his choke chain, and in the process tripped me up pretty good. To make matters worse, we live in a town where everyone either has a baby or is pregnant - everyone!

The ridiculous nature of this fear reminds me of when Gus was a baby and we were first taking him on walks around Abilene. He wasn't afraid of cars when they drove by, but he was deathly afraid of the parked ones. Thankfully, he got over that fear. Hopefully, this baby-stroller phobia will also only be temporary.

Mommy's little bear grew up...way up

You might remember the following picture from a post I did April 27, 2007.

I say you might remember it because it is quite simply the cutest picture ever known to man-kind. In fact it was so cute, it inspired me to take a picture in this pose every month to document Gus's growth. For some reason (perhaps I am near-sighted both in eyes and in spirit) I didn't foresee this ever becoming difficult. However, today, to mark his nine-month birthday a few days late, BJ and I trudged out to the back yard to take our monthly picture. We got the picture, but let's just say Gus has grown. Take a look:

And one more:

In the first, he looks like he may be trying to kiss me, but by the second it is clear that he is pretty much just disgusted with his lot in life as an overly cute fluffy thing. And me? Well, I'm just trying to not fall over.

Coupons, Frisco style

In the mail, I periodically get the Frisco Style Magazine. It is fill with useful information, like where to find the best au paurs (spelling? it's some sort of a nanny) for your children, or what chefs in town serve the best forty dollar plate of French food I can't pronounce. This past issue had a coupon like all good magazines should have, except that this one wasn't for mac and cheese or cereal. It was $50,000 off the next house you buy in some gated community. If I hadn't already figured it out, this made it pretty clear to me that Frisco is not going to be a permanent home for BJ and I. But I guess for the time being, it at least makes for an amusing magazine.

The Pierce Curse as seen at Wendy's

When Pierces venture out into the public to do anything, it generally goes badly. This weekend while my brother and dad came to visit, we had a pretty good case in point. The three of us ran to Walmart to purchase some of the necessities (toothbrushes, toothpaste, etc.) that they had inevitably forgotten. On our way out, we decided to stop by the Wendy's in the parking lot to get Bro a frosty and Dad his daily cup of afternoon coffee.

When we got to the Wendy's, Bro went up to order. This is how it went:

Bro: I would like a chocolate frosty.
Worker: Okay, anything else.
Bro: Yes, a large cup of Wendy's custom bean coffee.
Worker: Would you like that with M&M's or Oreo.
Bro: I want coffee.
Worker: Yes, it comes with M&M's or Oreo swirled in.
Bro: The coffee?
Worker: It's like a frosty with M&M's or Oreo's swirled into it (making a swirly motion with hands).
Bro: Uhm, I'm not pointing to the Frosty Twirl. I want a Wendy's custom bean coffee.
Worker: Oh. You want a coffee. Okay.

So after this fiasco (during which Dad and I had been trying to not totally burst out laughing in the background), Dad got his coffee. Unfortunately, when he took off the lid to put his creamer and sugar in, they had left absolutely no room for extras. It was filled to the brim. So Dad, after a good bit of spilling, took the little paper cups used for ketchup at Wendy's and started dumping out cups full of coffee until he had room for his creamer. Of course, during this process, he got coffee everywhere which I had to clean up on my way out. On our way to the car, we all decided that convenient store coffee is definitely the way to go. The Pierces will have no more Wendy's coffee, custom beans or not.

Day one of my new job

Yesterday, I started a new job . My employer, Abrakadoodle, is a franchise that offers art lessons for children ages 20 months to 12 years old. I'll be working about 10 hours a week, which is all I was really wanting to do this year. I think it will be pretty fun, and it will help out my resume next year when I'm looking for a real teaching position.

On an entirely different note, I had a fun time driving BJ to work this morning. BJ is a little luckier than the average working guy in that he gets sent off to work by the whole family. Since we only have one functioning car at the moment, I drive him to work, and of course, I bring the dogs along in the back seat. This morning while we were sitting at a red light, I looked back at Sienna, and she was staring out the window very intently. I followed her gaze, and it lead to a landscaping company's truck sitting next to us. In this truck, a gruff, manual-labor-working man was baby-talking to Sienna. He had a big goofy grin, and was gooing to our dog. It made me happy that our dogs in the back seat possible brightened someone's day. Unfortunately, Sienna's day-brightening abilities ended when we got home and she started whining for no reason whatsoever.

BJ's first day of school

As sick as this might sound, I feel a wee bit like a proud mother right now. BJ had his first day of school yesterday, and, of course, he was fabulous! His only real hang-up was one section of eleventh graders. But anyways, here are some pictures of BJ, his classroom, and what we've been doing the past couple of weeks, which have, in general, been spent almost entirely in BJ's room getting everything ready.

This picture was taken last week while we started the process of decorating BJ's room. Here, he is putting a border around his bulletin board. Somehow, I never pictured BJ doing this. Perhaps my Elementary-Ed.-major friends from college, but not BJ.

This is BJ and I after day two of decorating. By this time, we had done the time line for BJ's room. All LCA classrooms are required to do a time line, so I did one for BJ using brown packing paper and black paint. We tore one edge of the paper and then crumpled it up to give it the "I just found this in the Dead Sea" look that all Bible classrooms should have.

BJ was given this poster of Jesus, so I (stupidly) volunteered to paint all 13 apostles and Paul to put around this. I, being me, forgot this little promise until 9 o'clock the night before Meet-the-Teacher. So BJ and I had to really buckle down. We cut out the packing paper, he burned the edges with the candles, and I started to work. I painted until three o'clock that morning, and then I woke up at seven and continued painting until noon. We got the paintings up hours before the parents started showing up. On Sunday evening, we laminated them, which accounts for the shininess in the pictures.

This is a close-up of Matthew. I'm rather fond of Matthew.

Last but not least, this is picture of BJ after his first day of teaching. He had been wearing a tie, but that was torn off pretty much moments after the bell rang. Anyways, I think he looks pretty professional.

Remember that cartoon, Pinky and the Brain...

Yesterday, BJ walked into my art room a little disgruntled to tell me that Tony, once again, had ran out the door, and I needed to go get him. Tony, like all cats, is always trying to escape so that he can pursue his true goal in life, that of taking over the world and enslaving all non-cat beings. I got up from the project I was working on, went to the door, and, as always, Gus followed closely behind. When I opened the door, Tony had only ventured about 10 feet into the yard, but even 10 feet can be a lot when your trying to catch a mad cat. Fortunately, Gus sensed that there was a mission needing to be done, so he ran out in front of me, tackled Tony, and held him down until I could get to him and safely bring him in.

I say Gus sensed something, but that is probably incorrect wording. After all, Gus doesn't really ever sense anything. It is more likely that he saw Tony and thought "Ooh! Kitty-cat! Tackle!" Yes, that's probably what happened. But whatever it was, Tony has once again been foiled in his attempt to take over the world.